Join the ANTI-ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 PARTY!

I hate my computer, I hate it with a growing passion.

The reason I hate my computer so much is that it is nearly brilliant, but in the end, it's frustrating and annoying. Take for example the variety of different windows systems. I have Vista, which I almost love. I almost love the sidebar especially the exchange rate things, except being as I live in the UK, and my fiance is American, and also I like to know how the euro is doing, I have to load up the exchange rate thing twice. Grrr. (Thats a three R grrr by the way. I have moved from the two R grr, to the three R grrr as its gotten that serious. Also the two R grr kind of looked like I was a fan of motor racing.)

I also love the system monitor that watches my processing speed, except then it just tells me one of my processors is working madly whilst the other one is not, and they can't switch the workload to make the thing quicker, and what the hell is it doing anyway, I didn't ask it to do a damned thing! Why can't my lazy processor (which I have now decided to call Berbatov) just pick up the slack! Besides which, have you seen how much operating memory it takes!



I love the windows background features, but I now have thousands of pictures suitable for my background and I want my lappytop to randomly choose one, but Vista doesn't do that, so I end up finding a program online to do it for me, which works fine, except it's really really slow, and it interferes with a load of other programs (No, I don't care that you have just changed backgrounds when I'm in the middle of running away from a hoard of hungry zombies!) and have you seen how much operating memory it takes!

I love the internet, because it gives you access to everything except when you want to find one specific thing in which case it gives you everything BUT the one specific thing you wanted. In fact rather worryingly more and more even google takes you to sites selling you stuff rather than the information site you actually want. (When I type "All Holes at Augusta", I didnt expect to see THAT. I had my Mum in the room!)



The worst thing without doubt on computers though is, rather specifically, ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010.

This as you may know is not an anti-virus but a virus. It infects your computer and installs a program called AV.EXE on your PC. This program is a very very annoying advert that repeats itself again and again until presumably you link to their website and buy the product that, one can only pray, will leave this virus on your pc dormant, but more likely will either copy all your passwords and steal all your money, or send itself to all your friends instead.

This is also particularly annoying as turning the process off doesn't work as EVERY SINGLE TIME you use any program, it turns itself back on again. Also somehow it manages to stay hidden by an anti-virus, a spyware, and a malware program, which must make all three of those an even bigger waste of money. Why did I bother getting them when this insidious pice of software can jus waltz in whenever it feels like it! Half of my computer space is taken up with anti-viruses and anti-spyware and none of it works!

You can't delete ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 as, well it's not a stupid as all that, and even if you could find the right file location and get to the file, it would only reload itself into your memory on the next boot up.

It's like Russell Brand, you don't like him, you don't want him but he keeps bobbing back to the surface like a floating poo.

There is an election coming up in May, and I am offering my vote here and now, and I suspect the vote of thousands of internet users in this country, if ANY PARTY promises to hunt down the people who run this virus, who take the money, who create more and more strains of this insidious thing, and hang them from their scrotum, in a public place, like the Tower of London, for the whole world to see. Then supply us with big sticks so we can hit them like a pinata!

It can't be that hard, freeze the accounts, petition for their arrest, they are committing a form of robbery or fraud or extortion or something here! There must be a law against it. Why is no-one fighting this.

Please stand with me and scream and shout. Lets complain to our leaders, lets demand they do something about this. Viruses are infecting our systems and they should be stopped once and for all! Join the ANTI-ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 PARTY!

A Harem?

It has come to my attention, that some of you may be thinking I must obsessed with women.

I am, but no more than any other guy I know. However, two specific comments have been made, that I would very much like to address.

Firstly, the fact that most of my friends appear to be women is true, but not because I have been exclusively searching out women from across the globe to flirt with.... No, no, no, no, no!

I have believe it or not, been searching endlessly for guys too! However, men, as i'm sure you all know, are a bit wierd! I started off this thing by messaging randomly for 3 women and 3 men each week that peeked my interest. The men, however have either ignored my innocent messages, or at worst told me to go elsewhere in colourful language implying that I am homosexual. I have never seen this as a dating site, however clearly their own sexuality must be in question if they cant make friends with a guy. Im sure if I had breasts, they would have responded in droves.

I have never understood this rather sexist ideal that men have. After all it is relatively easy to make friends with guys down the bar (unless there is a woman with them... duh!!!). Online however it appears to be close to an impossibilty, well for me at least. For that I think you should all send my good friend Josh a hello, he may be religious, but he is the only guy that responded in the spirit intended.

I have had a friends request through from a guy in bournemouth, but as I have a policy of never accepting a friends request unless there is a message to go with it... well I refused it (but not until I sent him a message saying why! I mean come-on, how fair can I be!)

So, with that done, I move on to something which has caused somewhat of a stir amongst all you myspace friends... My ex's.

It has been mentioned to me that placing my ex's on the pics is kind of like showing off, that its intimidating and a little wierd. Hmmm, maybe.

The thing is, I wanted to put my life on here, and bearing in mind that these woman shaped part of my life, the directions I travelled in, the life I was leading etc etc, it seems totally insane to leave them out. I have pictures of my nephews on here, and I have spent considerably less time with them.

Can you imagine a biography of Tom Cruise that didn't mention Nicole, or one of Brad that didnt mention Jennifer, or one of Colin Farrell that didn't mention... well everyone!

No, and thats because they're important. After all would Tom Cruise have made Vanilla Sky, if Penelope hadn't made the original? Would Ben Affleck made Gigli... actually he might have, but you can see my point!

Women are very much a part of my life, and so they should take the stage as much as my new flattie and my brother. May I suggest that you only consider it wierd because, you yourself have chosen to try and forget those times spent. I cannot, because they were all good times, and in the true spirit of positivity, I should hang on to those moments and keep them in my scrapbook of life.

I would suggest that those of you that find it intimidating only do because they are nice photos. Trust me... they are the best of literally thousands. I love taking snapshots, and almost all get thrown away. If you had thousands of photos of yourself, you would find one or two really good ones too.

There might be some of you that consider it morose or mean even, perhaps they dont want their pics on myspace. Well yes that could be true, after all, some didnt end very well, and I appreciate the insensitivity of that, but it's my life too, and they were a part of it. It is why I have only picked out the best of the flattering ones.

Finally, if I am so proud of my past, then why have I not put them for everyone to see... Another good point. I guess because my last relationship finished so recently, and is still quite sore, especially as her dad is a complete arse, that I felt it best not to aggravate too much. I do intend to open it up in time, jus not yet.

Okay, I hope that explains a little of my reasoning. As always I am very open for criticism (as I often deserve it), but I would prefer it to be constructive, and preferably more than 2 words, but I continue to promise not to block anything negative, although you have been kind enough to be supportive. I would actually love to have a few negative comments once in a while. It makes for a lot of fun.

Hope to be chatting to you soon

Eggy

Jealousy (I want more readers!)

Ok now, I'm a little distressed today.

Firstly, I didnt work last night because I had a head that was banging louder than a def leopard gig. I decided an early night (about midnight) was appropriate, and hopefully have a better day today.

So far so good. No migraine and a bad back... fair compromise.

Then I went online this morning to answer a few messages and you know, catch up. I saw Toms blog there about the new menu thing and clicked. After 10 seconds of being bored of that I flicked through the comments and started randomly browsing.

Now, I spend no small amount of time trying to find amusing or touching or personal or contentious things to say in the hope that I can spark debate or make you smile, but looking through random blogs made my heart sink.

One blog, that had no less than 4 replies, told the story of someone who had broken down on the freeway with no petrol. This wasn't a long and amusing parable about letting things get on top of you, or taking chanes, or even dealing with help. This was, I got in the car and it broke down, and blow me if I didn't run out of petrol... ah well.

FOUR Comments!

All saying Very funny story pal, and Know how you feel, been there myself!

Am I doing something wrong here. Is there any point in spending ages trying to find the right words, using the right phrases, finding a witty angle???

So in an attempt to rouse interest in my little blog thing, I have decided to write about what happened last night.

As I said I wasn't feeling too good and had gone to bed early, anyhow I wanted to change the channel on the TV set. I kept on pressing the buttons on the remote control but nothing was happened. Blow me if I didn't have the wrong remote!!! I was only holding the dvd remote!!! I obviously picked the wrong one up!!!

I nearly ended up watching the wrong program!

Crazyness!