I promise Sally Kern will get my attention, but I spent ages trying to send an email today to a friend of mine, complete with attachment, but for some reason no matter how hard I tried I got nowhere.
Later we met up and i asked her to send me an email. This is what I got....
Dear Mr Eggy,
Although it should be underlined somewhat that neither the author of this notation - nor his / her colleagues, close associates or those of a substantiated familial connection - can, with any close approximation of scientific assumption, adequately describe and determine the accuracy of herein typographically reproduced content, apparently there is a possibility - real, imagined or partialy realised - that this form of communication can, under certain circumstances, be classified and determined as falling within the usually expected parameters of what has been determined to be, titled as, or otherwise referred to, for identification purposes, an 'email'.
However, it should also be noted that identifying said communication in this manner can, in actuality, be perceived as misleading, at worst, and a misnomer, at best. It is, in reality - and a reality, perhaps it should be mentioned - that even a young child can determine without the aid of a laboratory. At least not one of any particularly impressive nature.
The prime clue, of course, is in the descriptive title. 'Email' is - as you are presumably aware - made up of one severely abridged word closely concatenated to another word which, incidently, started as a much smaller word than the one to which it was finally appended. Namely the words 'Electronic' and 'Mail'.
It is generally understood that 'mail' refers primarily to the process of delivery as opposed to actual content and that 'Electronic' similarly refered, in this association and usage both in practice and theory, is purely an alternative means of despach, message carrying and, subsequently, receipt. It is a descriptive pairing that covers process as opposed to content.
As such it is apparent that your request to have an 'email' sent to you must be declined on the obvious grounds that, whilst such electronic, digital or other packaged modes of graphical transportation must, by assumption of widespread popularity, be available at an electronic transmition reception station located close to you and accesible to you, if not directly within whichever residential containment location that you may choose to frequent, it is, of course, physically impossible - or at the very least, somewhat impractical. The best that can be offered is this typed message which, of course is simply a letter transmitted electronicly.
I trust this meets or, in todays society with a need to ensure overwhelming satisfaction, holds the potential to exceed, your expectations.
Yours Sincerely
R.Kelcou (Ms)
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